Humanist wedding Oxnead Hall

Pheobe and Phil’s humanist wedding at Oxnead Hall in Suffolk was tailored to them, and reflected everything that was important about their personalities and their gorgeous family and friends.

The Run-through

We preceded the humanist wedding ceremony with a run-through the evening before – and I thought it might be impossible to gather together the excitement and joy of everyone involved. Finally. Finally. This wedding was going to happen!

I arrived for the run-through when everyone was gathered in the large hall at Oxnead and in the kitchen. Drinks, sausages, nibbles, laughter, children huddled in groups, grandparents reclining on the sofa. The bride and groom nowhere to be found!

We wandered through the formal gardens – all clipped yew and roses – through the avenue of trees and down to the lake. What a view! We discussed whether little Ruaridh would actually arrive in a tiny electric car but decided that as it was all slightly downhill that was probably a health-and-safety-hazard too far as he was heading for the lake.

The benefit of a run-through is obvious. I always emphasise the transitions more than the content, which is tailored to the couple. The walk-in, where the bride’s attendants will stand, is the ceremony space symmetrical and level? We went through the readings, whether microphones were needed, how the hand-fasting would work. Always worthwhile. And this is confirmed by what Pheobe and Phil told me – see it here!

On the day

On the day, the humanist wedding ceremony went like clockwork. The inimitable Unique Norfolk Events were in charge so no need for concern about any of the finer details because they had it all covered. . Daniel Ackerley was the photographer and Jade Hushabye Films – they were perfect partners and consummate professionals.

The sun shone, the guests were responsive (always a bonus!) generous and funny. The bride’s attendants were perfect and the ‘best men’ were the best. The beautiful avenue of trees was an absolute gift to the photographer as was the backdrop of a perfect lake with fields beyond.

My favourite memory was the tailored personal content, the hand-fasting and personalised vows which genuinely represented five years of planning, surviving Covid, new babies, moving house and organising a wedding. Oh. And work! Hats off to Pheobe and Phil. I felt as if I’d known them forever. In fact I might fetch up at their house for Christmas lunch!