How I actually write your ceremony (and why I ask so many nosy questions) [Dawn’s Substack]

People imagine I turn up with a script. A nice, safe, slightly-adapted-from-last-time script, tucked under my arm along with the certificate and a spare pen. I don’t. I never have. Every single ceremony I write starts with you. That terrifies some people and delights everyone else, so let me tell you how it actually happens.

It starts with a meander, not a form

I don’t sit you down with a clipboard and a list of ceremony questions. That’s not how real conversation works, and real conversation is the whole point. We meet and I just let you talk. About how you met. About the row you had in the middle of the street in the rain. About the friend who introduced you and then promptly disappeared to Australia. About your gran, your job, the things you argue about, the thing you’d never change. None of it sounds like ceremony material while you’re saying it. That’s exactly why it’s gold.

Why I ask the questions I ask

I’m not collecting facts for a biography…

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