A calculated risk

Gay wedding, straight wedding, transgender wedding – I’ve done all types of bespoke and personal ceremonies. It might sound like a clichè, but really all you need is love. There’s no need to be nervous when planning your gay wedding ceremony. We can work this through together and you can draw on my experience and I can draw on your story. Together we can build an unforgettable ceremony for you and for your guests.

Now I love spontaneity and within reason, anything is possible. Which is why, when I met James and Nick and they gave me 9 weeks to prepare for their wedding, we took a calculated risk  on the brief time we had to prepare something spectacular.  And then jumped straight in. 

After the initial shock of realising I’d misheard the date – it was to be 2022 not 2023, we embarked on a four hour breakfast planning session. Dogs under the table and James doing his thing on the griddle, we talked, laughed and found many connections. Gay wedding ceremonies are no different to any other ceremony and take at least 6 months to prepare, write and deliver. In order to deliver in 9 weeks, at the height of the wedding season, the boys had to be prepared to take a risk.

Time was at a premium. However, I sensed they were adventurers (I am too) and my suggestion was that I write their ceremony in one take. None of this ‘three-drafts and lots of comments from the couple’ mularkey. They’d have to trust me to get the content right, the story right, the friends and family contributions pitched sensitively. They’d also have to trust me to reflect who they are – which was the most important benchmark. Because their wedding wasn’t just a commitment to one another, it was a bold statement to the world about who they are!

They said yes.

And this is the thing. When the vibe is right – anything is possible. Which is why I was happy to drive for an hour an a half on a Sunday morning for breakfast.

James and Nick’s ceremony was held at the magnificent St Michael’s Manor, St Albans. We had a wonderful MC – Howard Robbins – a brilliant photographer in Hannah Mia and everything was topped by the surprise element – the magnificent Big Gospel Choir. The key to pulling all this off was GOOD COMMUNICATION. The MC, the wedding organiser at St Michael’s, the photographer, the choir and I, made certain that we took time to check in with one another before the ceremony so it would be seamless. What a team!

Nick and James entered to a ‘flash mob’ performance of And I’m Telling You – with the singers planted amongst the guests. Before the couple were half way in, the guests were stamping their feet and whooping! What an entrance.

When writing a ceremony and when delivering it, it’s important to change tone and pace. The excitement of the entrance and the humour mixed with poignancy of the couple’s love story was balanced by a moving recording of Sir Ian McKellan’s reading Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City and Michael Tolliver’s letter to his parents telling them he was gay. Take a look and I challenge you not to be moved. Then we moved on to memories and funny stories by family and friends. And then the vows and ring exchange.

The finale was a veritable whooping hollering love-fest with the couple leaving to the choir singing the Jocelyn Brown number Always There , me joining in, and everyone else dancing, as the couple left with their dogs!

We did it! From nothing to simply everything in nine weeks. It took my breath away! And what’s more, I now have friends for life in Nick and James. So much love. And after a humdinger of a receiption, I took my Blahnik’s to bed!

So if you’re planning a gay wedding ceremony, looking for something different or feel like taking a risk, don’t be afraid. Talk to me and as long as we have the vibe, we can do anything!